Dissidiaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

[sinnatious]

Man, fanfiction. Whenever I get about halfway through a story I always hit this point where I just want to throw it out because I’ve suddenly realised it’s utter rubbish and the glorious plan in my head is not surviving its meeting with reality. Then there’s the mental bargaining – should I just go ahead and post it regardless on the off chance the forgiving fandom will like it anyway, or should I spend heaps of time editing and trying to fix it on the slim possibility it comes good, or should I just abandon it and move on to some other idea that is inherently better?  :/

It’s hard to throw out something like 30,000 words, though. That’s like fifteen one-shots. I could grow to like writing one-shots, simply because they’re not around long enough for me to think too hard about them. Does anyone else have this problem when writing longfic?

Anyhow, enough on the perennial crises of fic-writing confidence. I want to talk about Dissidia! Spoilers within. I AM NOT VERY FAR, BUT SPOILERS NONE-THE-LESS.  (Just started Chapter 7!)

FIRST OF ALL, KAIN. <3 KAIN.

I’d forgotten how much I loved his character!  *__* It is nice to see he’s is keeping up his whole schtick of 'I will seemingly betray you but I am on your side all along.'  ...Also, I kind of want to ship him. With everyone. Lightning, Bartz, Cecil, Golbez, Firion, Warrior of Light, pretty much anyone he has interacted with for more than three seconds. There's something about Kain.

On characters other than Kain, it was interesting to see Warrior of Light's character take a bit of a turn! He was a bit ridiculously pure last time around, nice to see that he's capable of deception and higher thought processes beyond blind faith in Cosmos. Ever so slowly he develops a personality. Perhaps by the end of the game he will have a name!

Cloud's Chaos outfit is kind of dorky. I want to alternate outfit him STAT.

And it really is Tidus, not Shuyin! This makes me pleased, as I liked Tidus a lot more than his ancient unsent lookalike. He's taking after his Dad more and more, too, ditching the shirt and everything. <3  Go Tidus!

Laguna is hilarious.  This surprises nobody.

It was surprisingly nice to see Vaan! I was reminded that I do not hate Vaan, I just hate how FFXII kind of... forgot about him. He was so utterly inconsequential to the story after the first chapter in XII, and so terribly outshone by Balthier and Fran. He's the protagonist, damn it. There's a lot of unexplored potential in his character.

Okay, so I was worried about the amnesia!thing, but Square has actually used it really well - how each character are essentially blank slates when they wake up, but the more they fight the more of their memories return. It broke my heart when Yuna remembered Tidus, but Tidus could only remember Jecht  ;___; (and holy cow that was cool, having Chaos summon him essentially just to take on Jecht, NICE PLAY CHAOS). I felt so sorry for Kain when he could remember Cecil but Cecil still couldn't remember him. :( And there's also the fact that as their memories return, they recognise that they're trapped in a cycle... I'm wondering if this is how Cloud wound up in the Chaos camp. (And then, following the Tidus/Jecht pattern, Cosmos summoned Tifa to take on Cloud? FFVII rock-paper-scissors! Sephiroth beats Tifa, Cloud beats Sephiroth, Tifa beats Cloud.) ALSO THIS NEW INFORMATION PROVIDES A LOT OF NEW CONTEXT FOR THE FIRST GAME. Such as Warrior of Light waking up with no memories!  And everyone's varying degrees of recollection of their lives. And Sephiroth's little experiment with suicide.

And holy crap there is a whole lot of awesome for Zidane/Kuja shippers. Or even just Kuja fans in general. Strangely enough, I may be developing an intense and personal hatred of Kefka as a result. There are definite divides between 'pure evil' and 'circumstantially evil' villains forming. *rubs hands together gleefully* (Kuja is still a bitch to fight with though).

Have not yet even seen Sephiroth, getting antsy. Square sure is clever in stringing us along there!

Comments

[croix-souillees.livejournal.com]

... I just... I just totally started Yuna's chapter. And just saw Tidus. OMG MY HEART IT IS WRENCHED.

T_T I'm... so surprised. Dissidia's turning out to be very, very plot-intensive. And heartbreaking. Sob.

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

AND RIGHT AFTER THE WHISTLE, TOO. ;___;

[croix-souillees.livejournal.com]

... I... I... my heart. T_T I can't take this kind of-

this... is like a newold fandom. I think I might just jump into it. omg aaaaa I can't my HEART AAA YUNA

[croix-souillees.livejournal.com]

... you kinda feel for them now, in comparison to diss1.

I honestly went: oh, this is going to be a shallow game. I was a prologue in when I had an inkling of CRAP THEY'RE REALLY DOOMED.

.... sob

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

Yes. The dawning realisation that they're in a losing fight. o__o I actually thought this was a sequel originally? But knowing it's a prologue now... daaaaaaaamn.

[croix-souillees.livejournal.com]

wait. this is the PROLOGUE?!

..... shiiiiiiiit

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

I don't know anymore! Some people are saying it's a prologue, but given the cyclical nature, it might not be? I actually haven't read up anything on it, since once I found it existed I didn't bother looking up more since I didn't want to spoil myself.

[croix-souillees.livejournal.com]

I'll emo with you all the way. TT_TT *hugs*

*baaaacktracks*

Hm. Post it anyway, see how people react. I think I'll love it no matter how it ends up. You can always tweak it later. I'd rather that you not waste so much of your effort, when it could become something totally unexpected, but in a positive manner.

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

That is admittedly probably what I'll do, if only to remove the temptation to keep tinkering with it to no end. :/ IDK, you ever have that with your doujins?

[croix-souillees.livejournal.com]

xD yes, actually. my art tag/blog is full of wips. lol. And my wip folder is 4x bigger than my completed folder. lol.

*hugs* what were you writing? XD

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

GenCloud fic. Theoretically. There's not much actual romance just yet. XD As always, takes forever to do anything.

[croix-souillees.livejournal.com]

Roflmao. XD I can't want to see it, really. owo

[faire-estela.livejournal.com]

I do. It happens. This week I have abandoned 15k (which doesn't quite tally up to your 30k) of Silmarillion fiction because the fairytale didn't quite live up to my thoughts and I wasn't sure editing would do the trick and gah, it has been so frustrating.

Longfic. I'm telling you, the story I'm getting started on? It shall not go over 5k. IT IS AN OATH! XD

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

Ouch! That's a lot of fic to throw away. :(

That sounds like a good plan. Anything over 10k is just asking for heartbreak! Yet I will continue to tread this path anyway.

[thesundaywriter.livejournal.com]

i'm the opposite! most of my ideas turn out to be mutli chapters or parters. i find it hard to condense everything into a short fic, especially with a word limit. cuz if my one-shot winds up too long i'll just end up writing it in two or more parts XD

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

XD I have that problem too! Hence why I keep tackling longfic... then regretting it. How do you keep from despairing at after you've been working on it for a while?

[thesundaywriter.livejournal.com]

tell me about it. if i continue a long fic after an extended break, i sometimes have to do a rewrite if my writing tone/style changed over the years (yes i've left something for that long *shameful* XD) it's strange but once i know the ending to a fic i don't feel like continuing it anymore? maybe i'm being lazy knowing the ending, and no one really reads what i write anyway, so it's more of a writing for fun for myself haha. for me the problem is linking chapters, how to end and start. same with my essays actually XD;

[agentlerain.livejournal.com]

♥ I could grow to like writing one-shots, simply because they’re not around long enough for me to think too hard about them. Does anyone else have this problem when writing longfic? We've had this conversation many times but I AM GLAD YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL NOW. :D

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

:P

SHOULDN'T LET IT STOP YOU, P-CHAN. ;) We will get long fic out of you yet.

[agentlerain.livejournal.com]

...How long does fic have to be to be considered LONG FIC? :| :|

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

...10,000 words?

Actually, you've probably already written longfic for CCS or something, haven't you!

[agentlerain.livejournal.com]

Haha, a long time ago! *checked FF.net* Longest was around 38k? But never finished that story, lol.

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

38k is a pretty excellent effort, though! Clearly I cannot hassle you about this any further. ;)

[agentlerain.livejournal.com]

Haha, it was a lifetime ago! When I first was writing, and I'm rather sad that I haven't gotten better! Why is it that the "better" I have become in my writing, the less I actually write? :P

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

That one's fairly self-explanatory, isn't it? :) The better you get at writing, the less you tend to waffle, the more structure and purpose to your word choice and plot and dialogue.

But as you learn more, some of the spontaneity gets educated out of you, and that's the stuff that lets stories balloon out to really gross word lengths. I think you lose something there, but in the end the gains make up for it. What do you think?

(Also we cannot forget you are perfectionist. ;) It's hard to maintain perfectionism over a longer period of time!)

[killiara.livejournal.com]

Geez, and here I am stuck in chapter one of the first game. Did I mention I suck at fighters? If I could turn off ATV then I wouldn't have a problem. ;.;

It sounds like the second game is even more awesome, too.

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

Isn't there an RPG mode, for people just like you? I never used it, but I know it exists!

[gaawa-chan.livejournal.com]

" ...Also, I kind of want to ship him. With everyone. Lightning, Bartz, Cecil, Golbez, Firion, Warrior of Light, pretty much anyone he has interacted with for more than three seconds. There's something about Kain."

Lol, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like that. XD

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

Fandom, come to our rescue! XD

[firedraygon97.livejournal.com]

:O Amnesia?! Oh, the possibilities! I'll have to get this game and try it out soon...

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

The tragic possibilities. ;__; Just, wow. I typically can't stand the amnesia angle, but they really made it work for them.

Yes, do try it out! And hopefully you will have more luck in hiding your save files from you brother this time...

[sanctumsfw.livejournal.com]

Late to the commentfest, but just wanted to add my own two cents: there hasn't been a single thing you've written that's not good. Seriously. Even your beginning works held their own charm, though I've seen that you wouldn't really agree, considering good authors are their own harshest critics. It's Gen/Cloud fic, and we know you can work it; after all, Fifth Act, with its glimmers of jealous!Gen vs. snarky!Seph competing for oblivious!Cloud's attention, has certainly hauled us in by the fishnetful and here we've been content to remain, right? I'm sure I speak for many when I say that we'll be even more happily ensnared with this new development. So please don't trash it, and do go for it!

[sinnatious.livejournal.com]

XD You're right, I wouldn't agree, but thank you. (My absolute worst stuff never gets posted, though, so even that's not a fair representation!) Need not fear trashing, I'll probably post it eventually just to remove the temptation to keep tinkering with it. In the end I might even grow fond of it! But during the third quarter I always become convinced it's dreadful and get all fearful about people's reactions. It was the same with Fifth Act - you work on something for more than a month and soon all you can see are its flaws. :)

You raise a good point, though. Hopefully with the comparative lack of GenCloud out there, standards won't be too horribly high! \o/