The Probability of Dating - Chapter 8
Feb. 25th, 2009 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sinnatiousThe Probability of Dating
Author: Sinnatious
Summary: InuiRyo. Inui calculates that there is only a 0.02% chance that Echizen Ryoma would be willing to date him. Fortunately, data can be changed.
Rating: PGish. Rating for shonen ai and innuendo.
Author’s Note: Alriiiiight. 66.6% :D
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The Probability of Dating
Chapter 8
By Sinnatious
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Inui had frequently wondered how long it would take someone else on the team to notice what he was doing. He expected that Fuji would have been the first, but to his surprise it turned out to be Kaidoh.
"Oi, senpai," came the quiet comment after doubles training one day. "What exactly are your intentions towards the brat?"
To say he wasn't astounded at the forthright comment would have been a lie. However, it didn't take long to deduce his doubles partner’s line of reasoning.
"I assure you that this is no experiment, but the result of long and careful consideration. I have no intention of upsetting the team's dynamics."
Kaidoh relaxed, but only marginally. Inui had forgotten that the junior's stringent beliefs in the senpai/kouhai relationship went both ways. It was actually rather touching that the Viper was looking out for Echizen in his own offhanded way. "The brat's thick-headed when it comes to anything but tennis, you know. Don't be surprised if he acts badly when he figures out what you're doing."
“Thank you for the warning.”
The junior just hissed and headed back towards the clubhouse. Inui opened his book and made a quick note. Kaidoh was not a threat to his plans.
It had been a week since that breakthrough trip to the arcade. Inui was once more at a loss. Every magazine he’d consulted suggested that his next step was to confess, but all of the data still pointed to a flat-out rejection at this stage of affairs. Echizen might regard him as a friend more so than a senpai now – an enormous achievement in itself - but he still didn’t show any sign at all of considering him in any sort of romantic light. It was a wall he didn’t know how to breach.
He’d tried to up the ante by flirting, but any double-entendres seemed to fly straight over the freshman’s head. None of the traditional romantic approaches would work either. There was a ninety percent chance that any flowers he gave would wind up in the bin. An eighty percent chance that any chocolate would be eaten by Momoshiro. A seventy percent chance that any gift wouldn’t even have the nametag read before it was carelessly disposed of. Inui had observed Echizen throwing away the little tokens adoring girls would leave in his shoe locker as recently as two weeks ago.
It was quite amazing that there were any girls left still willing to try, actually.
“Kaidoh, wait up,” Inui beseeched, jogging lightly to catch up.
“Fsssshuuu, what do you want, senpai?”
“It’s slightly embarrassing, but I was hoping for some… advice.” This was one of the things Inui had been avoiding from the very beginning. This whole exercise began due to his dissatisfaction at being what Oishi termed ‘a late bloomer’, and having to outwardly acknowledge his own inexperience left a salty taste in his mouth. But he truly needed an outside opinion – he was much too close to be sure of his ability to make decisions objectively. Logically the best sources of advice would be Oishi or Kikumaru – who already had an established romantic relationship – or Fuji, who was unquestionably the team powerhouse on the romance front. But Inui knew Kaidoh wasn’t the sort to gossip, and that was much more important at this juncture.
“About the brat?”
“Correct.”
Kaidoh folded his arms. “You seem to be doing fine on your own, senpai.”
“I… am at a loss of how to proceed,” Inui confessed. “The results of my research and the conclusions of my data are at odds.”
“Your… data?” Kaidoh seemed perplexed.
“That’s right.” He withdrew the notebook he’d dedicated to the whole endeavour. It was now by far the thickest notebook he’d ever carried, though its size was greatly magnified by the numerous magazine clippings and book passages copied into its pages – data on Echizen himself probably only counted for a scant third of it.
“All that?” Kaidoh was staring at the notebook with wide eyes. It was a slightly alarmed expression.
“You see why I need a second opinion. I feel like my approach might be off base. While Echizen has warmed up to me significantly, I don’t think he’s… as you said, he’s a little oblivious when it comes to matters of a romantic nature. I’ve tried to bring the matter up, but…”
“Bring it up? How?” The junior absently popped the lid of his water bottle and took a swig.
“You know, the usual. Flirting. Pick-up lines,” Inui stated in a business-like manner, and diplomatically didn’t comment when Kaidoh choked on his water.
“What sort of pick-up lines?”
“Let’s see… ‘Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?’ And there was also ‘If I wrote the alphabet, I would put U and I together.’ Unfortunately, he just looked confused and changed the subject. And then there was, ‘How much milk have you been drinking?’, but when he said ‘two glasses as day’ I realised that perhaps-”
The second year was staring at him like he was insane. “Senpai… where did you find those lines?”
“The internet. It’s a wonderful resource. If you like, I could give you the link-”
“No thanks,” Kaidoh interrupted. “It’s just…”
“Yes?”
The second year seemed indecisive. Inui waited patiently while he thought things out.
“…It’s just that those lines are pretty terrible, senpai.”
The senior was stricken. “But the testimonials-”
“Either way, the brat doesn’t talk with words,” Kaidoh continued gruffly. “He talks with tennis and actions.”
Tennis and actions?
It was like being struck by lightning. Of course! All those magazines and websites had been telling him that communication was vital, and that conversations were important to relationships, but Echizen wasn’t the talkative type at all. How could he have overlooked something so fundamental? He flipped open his notebook and started scribbling notes down rapidly.
“Yes… yes… naturally, why didn’t I consider…? A thirty-five, no, thirty-seven percent chance…” Belatedly, he realised that Kaidoh was still there. “Oh, I shouldn’t keep you any longer. Your training regime is quite time-consuming isn’t it? And midterms are coming up as well. I should be heading home too.”
“That’s all?” The junior’s expression didn’t change, but Inui knew him well enough by now to detect the faint surprise in his voice.
“Yes. Thank you, Kaidoh. You’ve been most helpful.”
Kaidoh hissed at that, but didn’t bother properly vocalising his thoughts. He hoisted his racquet bag over his shoulder and stuck his hands in his pockets. However, he paused before heading off.
“Oi, senpai. One more thing.”
Inui paused in his scribbling and adjusted his glasses. “Yes?”
“For something like this. You shouldn’t rely on your data so much.” His piece said, Kaidoh walked away; shoulders hunched, and hissing softly.
Ridiculous. He understood the wisdom in keeping his data gathering strictly above the level, but how was he supposed to achieve such impossible objectives without his data? Kaidoh meant well, but he didn’t fully understand the enormity of the undertaking. There was far too much information to be managed. How else could he guarantee success?
That said, it turned out to be an excellent idea to discuss the matter with his underclassman. Kaidoh was hardly the most sociable of the Regulars, but his insight into Echizen’s character had put him back on the right path.
The data gatherer walked home in deep thought, turning over everything he’d learned in his head. Words held little weight with Echizen. Tennis was out of the question. He needed something else. Some sort of gesture. Something other than flowers or chocolates or gifts that the girls always failed at securing his attention with. Something that only he could do to demonstrate his feelings in a way that Echizen would recognise.
He arrived home and went straight to the refrigerator, intent on getting some refreshments so he could work on his plans and brainstorm upstairs for the rest of the afternoon. He was all out of juice, so automatically set about preparing a new batch.
That was when it struck him. The perfect idea.
Inui stared at the ingredients laid out in front of him.
The task was slightly daunting.
He had to make a juice for Echizen that tasted good.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-02-25 11:37 am (UTC)I am slightly scared by the juice XD
Ryoma would be v v suspicious
Purple Crow
Lolz, and who would ever thought Kaidoh can become a romance adviser? But I love how protective he is of Ryoma. <3
FINALLY someone tells Inui not to rely on his data for this sort of thing. Especially when it comes to Echizen, a notorious data-defier.
The pick-up lines!!!! XDDDDD
Re: SparklyFish
Date: 2009-02-26 10:54 am (UTC)Ooooh man I just had a much better idea for the next chapter that I wish I wrote instead! XD Damn you!
I have a feeling there will be omakes. o__o
no subject
Date: 2009-02-25 01:56 pm (UTC)Pick up lines (>__<) Gyah. No one should ever use them.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-25 10:26 pm (UTC)From here (http://xkcd.com/55/).
no subject
Date: 2009-02-25 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-26 10:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-26 10:44 am (UTC)There is no such thing as a good pickup line. I went through hundreds of them! >___
no subject
Date: 2009-02-26 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-27 11:02 am (UTC)(For those who foolishly don't read xkcd). XD
no subject
Date: 2009-02-25 02:26 pm (UTC)I love that it's Kaidoh giving the advice. True, many people would write Fuji ~ but I think this is more interesting actually. It's great to see Inui trusting his kouhai, and Kaidoh seems to have a few wise words :D
Those pick-up lines are so horrible they're hilarious xDDD
And lol, juuuuuice! I can't wait 8D
no subject
Date: 2009-02-26 10:51 am (UTC)Fuji=/= trustworthy :P
Can't claim credit for the hilariously bad lines - I trolled the internet specifically searching for the worst pickup lines I could find. It was a scary, scary journey. .___.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-25 04:26 pm (UTC)I LOVE THEE WITH A LOVE I SEEMED TO LOSE 8D 8D 8D
no subject
Date: 2009-02-26 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-26 10:45 am (UTC)Inui, haven't you ever heard of testing?
no subject
Date: 2009-02-26 02:54 am (UTC)AND INUI JUICE THAT TASTES GOOD IS AN OXYMORON. D|
♥♥♥amazing chapter as always
no subject
Date: 2009-02-26 10:52 am (UTC)♥♥♥
SparklyFish
Date: 2009-02-26 09:33 am (UTC)Kaidoh gives surprisingly good advice. The best one not basing everything on data. But I think it'll take Inui a few more chapters to consider trying it out, he's so un-Inui without his data awwww~
pretty chapter. am waiting for the juice that will mark the end of the world. xD
Re: SparklyFish
Date: 2009-02-26 11:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-26 10:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-27 11:00 am (UTC)Plus, the acronym would be POD, and I'd be getting that mixed up with DOER all the time.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-15 06:24 am (UTC)...two peas in a pod. -snerks-